Navigating Tragedy

With all of the news unfolding in Maine about the shooting in Lewiston, it is hard to know what to say or how to even wrap your brain around the tragedy that occurred on Wednesday evening. You can’t make sense of something that is so senseless. Our community is with heavy hearts and pray that nobody else gets hurt.

Many of us who live in this state were born and raised here. We may leave for short periods of time, but most of us always come back because Maine is our home. We are more than towns and cities, we are communities intertwined together. Maine is a community where we know everyone, either personally or through someone else. Growing up here, I have spent time all over this state from the coastline to the mountains, the Canadian border to the New Hampshire border. Regardless of where you are in this state, people will offer to help if you are stuck in an unfortunate situation.

We are a state of hunters and gatherers, many people own weapons here because hunting season is a time many look forward to. Our residents use hunting as a way to provide food for their families, neighbors, and communities. The ownership of assault rifles is not something that should be allowed for citizens of any state. These weapons are made for mass destruction and time after time they have fallen into the hands of those who have caused senseless mass murder, impacting entire communities, states, and our country as a whole. 

In my day-to-day work with children and families, I often have to support kids with processing their anxieties about a variety of things. One that is consistent among many of the youth I work with is fear about their safety, specifically gun violence due to the large number of school shootings that have occurred in our country. It can be really difficult to know how to talk to children about situations like the one that has been happening in our own backyard. 

I ask that you please take time to talk with your kids about the situation going on. Remember what is age-appropriate for your child to help reduce fear, not increase it. If you are not sure how to navigate the conversations with your children please reach out for additional support. You don’t have to know all of the answers to offer comfort to your child. Validate your child's feelings, sit with them in the unknown, and give them the tools they need to help reduce their fears. Some things you can say include:

“Your worry, fears, and sadness are valid.”

“I don’t know why this awful thing happened, but you are safe here with me.”

“We can’t make bad things go away, but we can help change them. How can I help make you feel safe right now?”

“I am here to support and comfort you.”

Allow your children the space to process their feelings. If they want to build a blanket fort because that is what brings them safety at the moment, let them. If they want to write or draw about it, let them. If they need a distraction, create one. You can color, watch a movie, play board games, or card games, engage in imaginative play, build with Legos, make Play-Doh, give your child a sensory bin, engage them in relaxing activities, have them take a bath, read stories together, or cook something. Get creative in your time with your child. Support them with releasing their emotions so they are not holding them in. It is also important that you be aware of how much news you are taking in, especially around your child. Children pick up on more than you think. If you have the news on, take a break for a while and turn it off. Be present for your child and help them feel safe.

If you or someone you know needs mental health support please reach out to friends, family, or crisis support. There is no shame in needing help. 

• Maine State Crisis Line (Voice): 1-888-568-1112 or 711

• United States Crisis Text Line: Text Home to 741-741

This is a terrible tragedy and we as a community will recover from this as long as we continue to support ourselves and others. We are Mainer’s. We are strong, resilient, and resourceful. Be there for one another and never be afraid to ask for help. 

Additional resources:

• Helping Kids Navigate Scary News Stories

• Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators

• Managing Strong Emotional Reactions to Traumatic Events: Tips for Families and Teachers

• Tips for Talking to Children and Youth After Traumatic Events: A Guide for Parents and Educators

• Helping Children and Adolescents Cope With Traumatic Events

• Center for Grieving Children - How to Support a Child After a Tragedy

Resources for Online activities:

• Cartooning Club - How to Draw

• Jeopardy Labs

• Online drawing