There Is Still Time To Connect With Your Adult Child

Many parents struggle with guilt when reflecting on their parenting journey. It can be hard to take ownership of our mistakes. When a child approaches their parents to talk about the hurt and frustration they experienced during childhood it can be difficult to listen. This often leads to feeling defensive rather than taking accountability. Becoming defensive can add to the pain and hurt a child is already feeling. 

You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Everyone makes mistakes and you were learning too. What your child is looking for is to be seen, heard, and acknowledged. By creating space for your child to share, even when it’s painful, takes courage. Parenting is a lifelong commitment. There is still time to love your child even if mistakes have been made. 

To the children who are now adults: You have the right to set boundaries where you need them. It’s okay if you don’t want to have a close relationship with your parent if the pain and hurt are too much. You are the child, not the parent. You are not responsible for the actions of others, including your parents. 

It takes courage to point out the ways others have hurt you, especially your parents. Share what you feel you need to. Release the pain and hurt that you have been carrying with you. It is not yours to hold on to anymore. Look in the direction you want to go, set your intentions, and take the first step. You have the ability to find the people that will love and support you along your journey. It is up to you to decide who that includes.